Asking Someone to Be Your Job Reference

The following post explores the topic of Asking Someone to Be Your Job Reference.

Creating a references list is an under looked aspect of the job search process that calls for a delicate and thoughtful approach. You want to make sure you’re asking for permission the best way possible.

Read: Understanding Your Resume’s Audience

Related: Considerations When Evaluating Multiple Job Offers

Once you’ve identified 3-5 individuals that you feel are willing and able to speak positively about your skills and character – it’s time to pop the big question. So, how should you ask? And, what should you say?

Here’s what you need to know.

Phone Call

Calling someone on the phone is one of the best ways to ask someone to be your reference. For one thing, you want to select people who actually answer the phone (so, it’s a good test). Beyond that, it gives you the opportunity to fill them in on your situation and why their help is needed or appreciated.

Best for:

• Current or recent colleagues and managers
• Long-term professional relationships
• Situations where tone and relationship dynamics are important

Risks:

• Might be interrupting something
• Might come off as too forward
• May not be prepared to give an answer on the spot
• May feel pressured to say yes without considering it

Email

Overall, email is a solid choice when it comes to asking someone to be your job reference. It bypasses the direct confrontation of a phone call and gives the recipient time to think about your request.

Best for:

• People you’ve worked with in the past but may not currently see regularly
• Former bosses or colleagues with busy schedules
• People you’re not as comfortable asking in person

Risks:

• Might overlook or delete your email
• Could end up in the spam folder
• Less personal than a verbal request

Email Script:

Below is a sample email script for asking a former colleague to serve as a professional reference.

Hi [Recipient’s Name],

I hope this message finds you well. I’m currently in the process of applying for [specific position/job title] at [Company Name] and wanted to reach out to see if you would be comfortable serving as a reference for me.

I enjoyed working with you at [Previous Company] and believe your insights on my skills and work ethic would be valuable to potential employers. If you agree, I’d be happy to provide any additional information you might need about the position or my background.

Thank you for considering my request! I really appreciate your support.

Best regards,

[Your Name]

LinkedIn

Sending a message on LinkedIn is another option to consider for asking someone’s permission. If email seems too impersonal and phone calls are too direct, sending a LinkedIn message offers a happy medium.

Best for:

• Anyone whose email or phone number you don’t have
• Colleagues you worked closely with years ago
• Connections you don’t interact with frequently

Risks:

• Might not be very active on LinkedIn
• May have lots of unread messages
• Somewhat informal compared to a phone call

In Person

Asking in person can be the most respectful and effective way to request a reference. It’s a direct approach to seeing if the person is willing to help, and it offers an opportunity for them to ask any immediate questions.

Best for:

• Managers or coworkers you see regularly
• Close mentors or professional advisors
• People who appreciate direct, face-to-face communication

Risks:

• May catch the person off guard
• Poor body language and/or nervous tone
• Pressuring or putting someone on the spot
• Might create a forced sense of obligation

Other Methods:

• Texting
• Social media (FB, Insta, X)
• Messaging apps (WhatsApp, Slack)
• Asking through mutual connections (friend of a friend)
• Sending a letter in the mail

In Conclusion

In conclusion, I hope this article helps you better understand your options when it comes to asking someone to be a reference. Asking the right way can make a big difference in the answers you receive.